Yesterday was Whitney Marshal's funeral. Her mother, Tanja, was a friend of mine in high school and we've stayed in touch via Facebook. While I never had the opportunity to meet Whitney in person, her untimely death has all but consumed me this past week. As I pray for her family, I can't help but think of my own. It's a sad helplessness that I can't quite explain and for the whole week, I felt a little like I was drowning. I remember having a similar feeling shortly after Addison was born. Just sort of afraid of all the horrible possibilities and endless travesties that could touch my family and break my heart. I've search the scriptures and prayed to God for comfort and guidance every day this week and still my heart would not be lifted. Such a long week...
Then yesterday, the day of her funeral, I had one of those Murphy's Law kinda days. Not only could nothing go right, but I could do nothing right. I won't list all the "tragedies" because in the light of a new day, they seem paltry, at best...almost laughable, in fact! But you know how it is...one insignificant thing piled onto another eventually makes what seems to be a mountain. What I will tell you and what I woke up to this morning, God whispering to me that not a single one of them will matter in eternity. And that is where I can find my solace. God is good. He does not promise us a life of ease or relationships free of heartache. He will not give us more than we can bear, and when He does allow what seems like too much, it is to mold us and shape us into the person He wants us to be.
My heart is still broken for Tanja and her family and I will continue to pray for peace in their lives. As for me, God answered my prayer and lifted my burden, just as He always does. All these trials...just a refining fire. I need only keep walking and I will eventually come out on the other side.
No comments:
Post a Comment